Where have all the married people gone?

This post is not really about running, mainly due to the fact that I got a horrible cold this week and haven't run in a few days. The topic of married vs. single people did arise from an evening out with my running group. It is not intended to be offensive toward anyone, but I am curious to know...where do people go when they get married?

Let me back up a little. Some of you know that my husband and I are socially different creatures. He is quiet, more introverted, and really does not like crowds of people. In fact, it took him some adjustment time just to get used to my family all crammed into one place for the holidays. I can be quiet (huh?), but like getting together with groups of friends and meeting new people. WE are totally ok with these differences, but I'm not sure OTHER people feel the same way.

One reason I joined the AIDS marathon training program was to meet new people, be part of a group, socialize, etc. Being the only married woman in the group did not phase me at first, but I've started to catch on that I might be viewed a little differently because I am married. (I should mention that this is not the first time). During our runs, I unintentionally offer the "married perspective" when conversations take a turn toward relationships. And, I went to a group fundraising activity one evening, and the conversation turned to discussing good places to meet guys. Some of the group was planning to get together to check out one of these places, when one of the girls said "Oh, no, my married friend is coming into town that weekend!" She wasn't saying it to put her friend down, she just wasn't sure if her friend would be interested. The statement got me thinking...

• Does an invisible wall go up between friends when someone ties the knot?
• Do people really become different when they marry, or do their friends just assume they are no longer fun?
• Do the majority of married couples just stay home all the time? Only go out with other married couples? Maybe they experience the same things I am experiencing and eventually give up?
• If I never told new people I was married, would they figure it out anyway - by some married body language and/or habits?

I'm honestly curious about this topic. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being married, but I do not define myself only as a married person. I still have my own interests, friends, job, identity, etc. I'm wondering if other people wonder about this as well? Feel free to post comments (see the bottom of this post.)

Who should be allowed to run a marathon?

Another picture of the Mt. Vernon trail - this time of me on a cross trianing day.

Since starting to taking this running thing seriously, I started “lurking” (a purely technical term for you non-internet people) around the Runner’s World and Cool Running message boards. These boards are full of running questions and words of wisdom from those at it a lot longer than me. I was somewhat disturbed, however, when I came across a few (ok –several) posts that take aim at Team-in-Training events, running for charities, and the Galloway run/walk method. It was only after the 2004 Marine Corp Marathon that I even had the brief, nanosecond of a thought that I might someday, years from now, attempt a marathon. When I saw the flyer for the AIDS Marathon Training Program, I thought I might as well be raising money for a good cause while logging all the miles. Plus, group long runs and coaching…what more could you ask for?

Well, (long pause) there are many people who don’t take kindly to this type of program. The reasons vary and I’ll choose not to rehash all of them here. You can go to http://www.runnersworld.com/ or http://www.coolrunning.com/ message boards if you want all the dirt. The problem for me is that I understand some of their arguments. It’s true, you don’t see the general public deciding to play in every Redskins game to raise money for charity. In fact, not many sports would allow this. So, why allow it in the marathon? Also, these training programs usually incorporate some type of run/walk ratio because they say it increases recovery time for those not used to pounding the pavement. Many “real” runners (I’m not sure when a person becomes a “real” runner – any research out there?) claim that you haven’t done a marathon if you haven’t run a marathon.

At the same time, these training programs are partially responsible for getting some otherwise lazy people off the couch and into their running shoes. And, each week a large number of people find themselves able to complete the distance with a pretty quick recovery time. And, you can’t help think that they bring a new awareness for the sport of running (even though it still only gets about an hour of TV coverage every few months). And, the AIDS marathon training program states it has a 98% success rate for first time finishers.

Of course, I would love to RUN a marathon, and even qualify for Boston, but in reality, that will probably never happen. I’m actually quite happy plodding along at my slow, take in the scenery, pace. For me, the enjoyment of going for a run is what it’s all about. I only hope I don’t get a tomato or something worse thrown at me during the race because I might have to take a walk break!!!!! Anyway, these are just thoughts that have plagued me the past couple weeks. Feel free to comment.

P.S. I’ll be in North Dakota for Christmas. Anyone there want to join me for a cold 4 miler or 8 miler or just one mile of either? Take care all, and have a happy turkey day!

Halfway there!

Well, I got one picture to upload! This is one of my favorite parts of the Mount Vernon Trail, right before a small, but challenging hill.

A couple Friday's ago, my pace group got together for dinner to discuss fundraising efforts and our pace issue. On the way, my train decided to break down, traveling for 5 seconds at a time at a 10 second per hour pace, then slamming on the breaks, causing everyone to fall over into each other's stinky arm pits. Stop and go the entire way to Dupont Circle. By the time I got to the restaurant, I can't say I was in a festive mood. However, we had a nice dinner. I skipped the tour of "places of questionable amusement," and went home to see my husband who for once did not have a paper to write or test to study for. Saturday, we ran a recovery run of "only" six miles (I've always wanted to say that-it's as close to being an elite runner as I'll ever get). For some reason, my body was saying "noooo, sleep in, eat Heath Bites, and greasy pizza. I felt like a slug bug out there, but finished with the group. It seems I had a virus brewing, because a couple days later, I got good and sick.

Despite a case of nerves Friday night, I successfully completed my longest run yet – 14 miles!!! Our pace group did GREAT, even increasing the pace for the last mile. Thank you to Tina and Michele for volunteering again this week. They took pictures, gave us food and water, and lots of cheer! After the run, Steve and I (stupidly) went to a movie. Sitting in an extremely cold theatre (or was it? We saw “The Weatherman;” every scene was of cold, snowy, icy, Chicago) for two hours caused me to feel a little like the Tin Man. I tried to move, but could only whimper. Steve got me to the car, spoiled me with a hot Starbucks coffee, and I spent the next day and a half on the couch. I’m a little concerned about what the 17-miler, 20-miler, 23-miler and actual marathon might do to me. Today, however, I did my 45 minute maintenance run with only a little stiffness. Ice packs, Advil and stretching seem to be the key.

Soooo, onto the important stuff. Our fundraising total has reached $1900! We’ve got less than a thousand to go in order to reach the required goal. If you haven’t yet donated, and would like to contribute to these fundraising efforts for Whitman-Walker Clinic, please click on the “Sponsor Me” link on the right hand side of this page. For those who have already contributed, thank you so much. Please let your friends and family know about this great cause and encourage them to participate!

Last, I’m off to figure out the laptop issues. I WILL conquer this technology business in time to post some pictures. I will, I will, I will…

Grrrrrr...technology

I don't seem to have a lot of luck with posting pictures on this site. My computer skills are limited, so I'm waiting for some tech help from Frank before getting the rest of the them up. It's not worth self-destruction. The picture below is from the day of the Gulf Coast Relief Run. The race actually made the pages of Runner's World this month due to the outstanding fundraising efforts of the Alexandria community!

This past weekend our pace group finished the longest training run yet - 12 miles! Most weeks, we follow an out and back route, starting at the Waterfront in SW DC, heading to the mall, running past all the museums and monuments, past Kennedy Center towards the Capital Crescent Trail and back. It was nice to finally leave the sights and sounds of the city, and take in a couple quiet miles on the trail. This time of year is perfect, not too hot, not too cold, and the fall colors are beautiful. It was a good run, but a little too fast, and many people were feeling the distance at the end. I was happy the sun came out, because right before the run, one of my GU packs split open, getting all over my fuel belt, water bottles and fleece pants. Luckily, I had running shorts underneath, but what a sticky mess!

Sunday was the Marine Corp marathon. My friend, Melissa, and I parked ourselves at mile 23 and cheered in the runners. It was not only inspirational, but also a little bit frightening. I think it might have been a better idea for me to stand at mile 1 or 2, before the runners started limping, puking, and grimacing in pain. It was a fun day, though, and Melissa and I got in a 4 mile bike ride to kick off her triathlon training.

This week brought on some new challenges. As a team, we decided to set up some fundraising events for Whitman-Walker Clinic. A fellow teamate and I visited some local businesses asking them to contribute gift cards or store merchandise to be raffled at the events. Asking for donations is always hard, but there are some businesses who really go out of their way to be helpful - and then there are those who really go out of there way to be nasty. I know they get tired of people asking for things, but a simple no, thank you would be fine! I just want to say Kudos to Old Navy stores. I am always impressed with their contributions to the community, and once again, they really helped out.

The other challenge is the continuing struggle with our pace. This past weekend, we finished several minutes early, and our coach did not like it much. The majority of us appreciate the concept of this training program, but occasionally we slip up, get to talking during our run, and a natural pace just takes hold. But, we are supposed to run as a group, not leave anyone behind, and train at a slower pace to avoid injury. Our group has differing opinions of how this should be handled, and it's left a bit of a cloud over the whole experience. I'm hoping we'll be able to overcome it, and get through the rest of the training on a positive note.

At this time, we've raised over $1800! You can always check out the AIDS marathon sponsor page (the link is on the right of this page) to see the running scroll of names. Again, don't worry if you don't see your name right away as it takes several days to post.

Last, December 1st is World AIDS Day. Please use this day to take time to pat yourselves on the back for contributing to a great cause and to raise awareness about this disease.